feeling strange

Have you ever had a really awkward time someplace? I mean like really awkward. The type of awkward that makes you wish you would cease existing? Imagine being on some really strong but really bad acid and you're sitting in an all white posh mansion. You're in the middle of Washington D.C. and on the walls are gold records because the owner of the house is a recording studio executive. You’re surrounded by a lot of phony rich kids; you don’t know anyone except an acquaintance and a friend of the acquaintance. Your stomach is churning from all the strychnine in the bad acid and you feel like you’re about to shit in your pants. All you can think about is how bad you need to use the bathroom but you can’t because you know it’s going to be some sort of crazy loud, stinky scene that's going to embarrass the hell out of you and ruin the party. So you just sit on the posh white couch staring at all of these fake strangers with whom you have nothing in common and try to look cool while beads of sweat start rolling down your forehead because you’ve been clenching your ass cheeks for hours. Now people really are looking at you and wondering if you're some sort of psychotic. You seem them looking but you're unable to communicate. You're on the verge of a panic attack because you think everyone can read your mind so you try to look around nonchalant-like but everything has some sort of weird green haze over it. You keep thinking that if you were home you'd get up and go for a long walk; maybe go over to some cool lover's house and just chill, but you can't go because you're a thousand miles away. Ever felt like this, like you don't belong here? This is pretty much every day for me - except for the upset stomach and green haze parts.